Firepower: Tributaries
Firepower: Tributaries
Phil Connor
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Author’s Note: This year, I’ll take readers on a journey that explores how our lives are like rivers running through us. Each attribute of these rivers represents an aspect of our lives. So grab a paddle and join me in the Firepower kayak as we embark on a journey to explore the river within you. This month, we’ll explore tributaries.
Rivers are fed with tributaries that come together from multiple angles in various intensities and volumes. A river’s tributaries may begin as glacial melt, from underground springs, or due to the accumulation of moisture and rainfall. When they connect, they increase the volume, depth, and flow rate of a river.
In life, I believe our tributaries are the love and support of others that fill our souls and nourish us. It’s a wonderful feeling to think that the people who impact us might be able to become a part of us. This month, let’s reflect on how the people around us may act as tributaries in our lives.
It’s a wonderful feeling to think that the people who impact us might be able to become a part of us.
Direction
Our families and friends are obvious influencers in our lives. These people can be vital connections, forming who we are and what type of people we will become. Like a river’s tributaries, they can impact us in ways we might not expect. Perhaps it’s an uncle you never heard from growing up, but he shows up to bail you out of a jam as a teenager. Or maybe it’s an aunt who drives through the night to support you and your wife as you welcome your first child. It could even be your father who patiently pitches baseball after baseball, knowing you’re “going to the pros” at nine years old. The personal connections we make in our lives can come into our rivers from different angles and are occasionally unexpected. Sometimes, we don’t understand people’s impact in helping us form our rivers until we move further downstream and look back “upriver.” The one thing they all have in common is that they help us move forward. Remember, rivers never return to their source; similarly, we never return to our infancy. In many ways, the relationships we develop help direct our lives, and that influence can be slow or fast.
Velocity
Early in life, the influence of tributaries may be steep and fast. As we mature, that speed ebbs and flows over time. As we develop and grow, we still add tributaries—that is, we still add relationships—and our experience grows wide and deep like a river. That experience allows us to create new bonds and relationships that strengthen us without pushing us off course. We can maintain or increase the velocity of our flow by adding tributaries that have a positive impact, helping us get to our ultimate destination. We should always be intentional about adding relationships that help us move forward. Negative relationships may reduce our velocity in life, guiding us into bad habits or non-productive behaviors. Healthy rivers have consistent velocity and a vibrant ecosystem that promotes life.
We should always be intentional about adding relationships that help us move forward.
Contribution or Turbulence
The breadth of people we know can impact the volume of love in our personal rivers, and so can the depth of the relationships. The stronger our relationships are, the more stable our lives tend to be. For rivers to have an impact, they must usually be wide and deep. We can forge impactful lives by developing the strength of our relationships. Every relationship contributes to the flow of our river; every tributary brings value. When we have toxic relationships, the water that flows into our rivers may be polluted. We can increase the positive flow by creating connections with more positive-oriented friends and family. If not enough to offset the tainted tributaries, we may decide to cut off a branch of inflow. Doing so prevents potential pollution, but it also reduces the flow into our own rivers. When we choose to cut off a relationship with someone close to us, we need to realize that it may have lasting implications. Some relationships may churn the water of our soul, creating turbulence and intense pressure without yielding any positive progress or benefit. At times, it’s best to steer clear of these waters to avoid getting trapped. Don’t forget, though, that a little bit of turbulence at the right time and place can sometimes jar loose obstacles that have been blocking our flow from running smoothly.
Possessions (Things We Carry)
I often marvel at how water can carry sediment and rivers can move massive boulders. In life, we gather items that can have significance. Sometimes, we carry them for our whole lives; other times, we set these gifts aside after a time. Tributaries can carry sediment and debris into the main river, or they can be crystal clear. In our lives, sediment may be physical items like family heirlooms or memorable gifts. We can also receive traits from our friends and family. We can learn skills and behaviors that become a part of who we are and are blended into our personal identity. It’s important to vigilantly discard the nonessential items that don’t help us reach our destination and maintain a consistent flow.
Rule 2: We can’t control the source of our life, but we can control the flow and direction.
As we approach our work this month, we might imagine ourselves as rivers influencing those around us. Are we a tributary producing clear, smooth water—or are we turbulent, sediment-filled rapids disrupting the flow of those around us? The answer may change from minute to minute or day to day. But taking a moment to visualize our impact can help us better understand the influence we have on others. Are we truly influencing them the way we intend?
I look forward to our journey together down your river over the next several months. Thanks for reading—and have a prosperous month ahead.
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Phil Connor
Phil is always working with his team at Ignition Labratory to find new ways to spread the fire. If you found Phil's column impactful, or if you'd like to have him speak at an upcoming event, contact him at phil.connor@live.com.
